2016 GSS Poetry Marathon

G Surgeon Poetry Marathon – click

Check out these fun reflections of love, life and the laughter behind my first poetry marathon. 24 hours – one poem per hour.

What’s Wrong With These Kids? Suffering from DEEP Ignorance

Death is second nature in their world. Is it desperation, desensitization, or the destination of the world? jj2017

Sisters discussing 9/11 at the Pennsylvania Memorial. Children are born with a heart of love.

 

You hear about it every day. Today youth pain for me was a story about a 24-year-old man that murdered 3 children. All of the girls were under the age of 10. One more day the country is shocked that someone could be so heartless and have such a blatant disregard for life. This happens far too often, and even once is one time too many.

Who are these heartless people? Strangers with psychological problems, relatives with psychological problems, parents…with psychological problems. The common thread with “these people” that society comes to see as monsters is that they have mental issues that they hide or refuse to professionally address, which take over their minds and hearts. The ability to relate to others as a human from another human is gone from their heart and mind. We say they are desensitized. We also know that they are not born that way, but only vaguely wonder at best what happened between birth and the first act of evil. Most often the murder is far from the evil.

As a society, we cannot cultivate negative mindsets and wonder why criminal minds grow. The further we move away from basic standards of respectful communication, the more we can expect that the reality of humanity will move with it. Evil words, shade, pettiness, and hateful bully-styled dismissal of others feelings have become the norm. Just browse any social media comment section and you will see the language that provides the seeds. Add to the analogy the soil of socialization that separates race, religion, and economic status. Water that will blindness to human needs fueled by our need for wealth, power, and convenience. It’s not just the events that end in a senseless physical death. Some children die early in life and live a doomed life until their body is laid to rest. All too often, their living obituary is never read.

Let me give you the highlights. My expertise is that I have lived through many of the things that have killed the spirit of other children. That is NOT a judgment. It is a position of understanding with a coating of gratefulness that I was given the gift of resilience and compassion.

• Detachment: Whether physical or emotional, detachment can have a life long effect on the development of a person. One of the most obviously known proofs is the fact that children that have grown up in great adoptive homes often will still seek out their genetic parents. It isn’t because of the lack of love or nurturing. It is not an intended reflection on anyone in the life. It is, though, an internal desire to understand their origins. Sometimes, they also seek to understand the reason that the first, most basic, human relationship was not successful. Understanding these things as an adult helps people to better understand themselves. On the side of emotional detachment, a child can spend their whole childhood trying to be good enough to earn their parent or caregivers love. An emotionally detached adult can cultivate a spirit of emotional neediness in a child that can cause them to become people pleasures (at-best) to isolated adults. Can you begin to see what that looks like in adults? Can you mentally envision their social adult behavior? These are often the adults that range in definition from criminals to social outcasts that society carries on one public service cost roll or another. The behaviors are often being acted out far before they reach legal adulthood. So one “what’s wrong with these children” is that they were never allowed to develop appropriate attachments as children. Human attachment is the foundation of understanding caring, compassion, and empathy. A few years ago (about 10 now), I learned the correct names of my genetic parent’s, courtesy of the Catholic church. I have never laid eyes on my mother to remember her and what I recall of my father is a story more deeply addressed in other blogs and writings. The next set of parents (by adoption) didn’t have the emotional maturity to address the depth of emotional support that I needed as a child. In many ways, the academic background to understand the issues that caused my case to go to the foster system would have benefitted us as well. Two fold, where I needed what all children need, their parents, obviously fell away. The nurturing that is often picked up during the adoption process never happened. The downside effect was that I formed an extreme comfort with being solo in life and distrust of key relationships. That empty hole was eventually filled with acts of love, concern, and faithful relationships that helped me want to heal. I’m blessed in that way. And even that took years that so many relationships suffer. To this day, I am still extremely cautious when forming relationships.  If those holes had been filled with reinforced pain, anger, and broken promises, the outcome would have easily been a total detachment. When a person’s life isn’t valued during the development years, they may not ever gain self-value and especially not a value of other’s lives. My life mission, based in part on this understanding, is to invest in the value of young lives so they never actualize detachment.
• Education: Have you ever looked into the eyes of a small child that has accepted failure for life? I saw it first hand at Club-KLA, the pilot site for Positive FACE. His sweet face still gives me nightmares that motivate me to move forward. I can literally still hear his voice say, “I’m not smart Ms. Gina. I can’t learn. I’m dumb”. This amazing child was in the first grade. Based on other events, his biggest expectations of me were to yell at him or “hit” when he messed up. My expectations of him were that he would believe in himself and excel. The staffing for the pilot was limited. But we were able to get the rest of the club engaged in an activity long enough to work together one-on-one a few times.
• Encouragement: The voice you use when speaking to a child becomes their self profession in life. The child that “ain’t no good” becomes the adult that is up to no good. They demonstrate that they have long ago accepted their limits in life. They have been told by parents, relatives, teachers, and more that they are less than capable. They hate it. It hurts. But in time, they believe it. Then, they hate themselves. Because hurt people will hurt others to gain power, they lose empathy and will find ways to destroy happiness around them. Without fail, you will find that the lives of gang members and the incarcerated have been darkened by a lack of positive encouragement. Likewise, when the encouragement comes from negative forces, they gain the courage to pull that trigger, robbery, or sell the drugs. Encouragement is powerful. While it is generally seen as a positive, encouragement is about support and confidence. If a negative force is providing the support and confidence that a person needs to a reasonable life. Encouragement is motivational and establishes approval. That is what “likes” and social media provide, which has created a whole generation of people doing extreme things for likes – approval – encouragement. When we fail to give the right encouragement during the childhood years, it is impossible to expect people to suddenly be self-encouraged without intensify intervention. When we see the child that is always angry or starting trouble, chances are that they receive very little, if any, positive encouragement at home. The “change the world” challenge, look for what they do well and highlight that. Give them responsibility and brag on them. You may be surprised at how their approach to life will change.
• Protection: Protection is one of our basic human needs. A fail here sets a person up for failure in life. There are many elements of protection:

  • ​Environmental: There is a need for a safe and happy home. People need to have a place to belong and feel they have sanctuary from the elements (weather) and outside risks.

  • Physical: There is a need for protection from body harm. Meaning no physical or sexual abuse – whether it is witnessed or experienced. Both is damaging to protection.

  • Mental/Emotional: Sound mental and emotional health is critical to a feeling of protection. Bullies inside and outside of the home are direct, and potentially lethal, threats to this type of protection. ​

• We have to consider what protections a child has need of, and take the steps necessary to provide it. With basic needs being met, a child’s confidence is boosted and their abilities are strengthened. A more sound foundation reduces the chances that a damaged child becomes a broken adult. In the words of Fredrick Douglass, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men”.

How DEEP is your love? If you are able to understand the effects of detachment, substandard education and encouragement, and a failed protection system, you are able to understand what is wrong with our children. Those that are in foster care and have at-risk home lives are more exposed to DEEP ignorance. This causes them to miss out on the core ingredients of forming a productive and happy life. It doesn’t have to be their destiny. It definitely wasn’t mine. But I also have to acknowledge that it is my destiny, with the assistance of ordained professionals, to be a Moses of this cause for some of the youth that had to misfortune of being born into DEEP ignorance. They deserve to learn that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

To date, there have been some awesome wins for Positive FACE including the professional and the results of our pilot semester. I look forward to working with education, mental health, and a variety of other professionals willing to light the way for other survivors, soon enough in their life to truly make a difference. And when a news story makes you think, ‘What’s wrong with these children?’, take a moment and try to inventory their history, home life, and habits. Chances are, the root causes created by American socialization, abuse (physical, mental, and/or emotional), neglect, or substances may have never been properly addressed. 

 

What Hummingbirds Say

Photo: http://sicklesmarket.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-hummers-have-arrived.html

I want to be able to fly like a hummingbird. Able to stop or back up when I need to and still remain elevated. Able to fly with so much energy that you can feel my excitement for life. Able to drink from the fountain and get back on the mission without missing a beat. 

Small in the world but grand in appearance – when all is done, I want to fly like a hummingbird.   JJ2017

Settling in Georgia for the time that has been chosen for me, I put my customary garden on the patio. This time the decor included a hummingbird feeder. Anyone that follows my posts knows why I love hummingbirds. Placing it outside, though, was a move to inspire me. I didn’t really know how common hummingbirds were for this area, but it felt like the feeder should be there.

For quite a while it just hung there lonely. After a month or so had passed I assumed that this just wasn’t the place for it. But I still felt like it should be there so I kept it fresh and continued with my business.  Then one day, it was there drinking. I didn’t see it again for a while but is more inspired to be prepared for it I kept the feeder full and fresh. It started coming more often and then I learned something that I never knew before. I learned first had the sound of a hummingbird. I assumed that they made a noise but they are always moving so fast I’d never heard one. It’s hard to believe that anyone other than professional bird watchers have heard them. Not only did it make a sound, it has a voice. It chirps loudly and I’ll come to the patio door to watch it have its breakfast. I’ve watched it fly and drink for some long periods of time. It’ll make a few more chirps and then fly away. A few times, the loudness has even been disturbing but I am so glad to hear it. It is also a little territorial. lately, a few other hummingbirds have tried to drink from its supply, but it aggressively chases them away. I find that funny because I’ve always seen multiple hummingbirds use a feeder.

This bird has learned me, the pattern for fresh food, and the power of communicating and owning its blessing. This hummingbird has taught me a lot about myself and Positive FACE. The first lesson was to be comfortable going with the vision or “gut feeling”. Even though I didn’t see the impact, my dedication to following through added to the life of another living being. I have to keep pushing a fulfill the dream. You may not know what to expect, but be ready for it and know what it looks like.

I also learned that being small, whether that physical statue or in the community, it doesn’t limit your ability to have a voice. And even when you’re small your voice can be loud and clear.

Another lesson I’ve learned it to be present. I’ve always known hummingbirds to move fast and seemingly not let humans get too close. This one seems to come more when I’m out there, communicating in the way that it can. While the elusiveness is intriguing enough to capture attention, it has been more interesting getting to see its colors, sounds, and skills. Copy that! ‘

Last important thing is to take ownership of the blessings that come your way.  It never seems like my hummingbird is “fighting” other birds that come around, but it definitely gets the message across that “this is for me”. None of the other get to drink. It obviously stays close enough to keep it safe. If another hummingbird comes it quickly swoops in and drives it away. The message that I take from that is to use the gifts that were given to you. Protect your gifts because others will use them in favors, needs, and “would you minds”. By the time you’re done sharing your talents you have nothing left to fortify yourself and your vision.

My hummingbird keeps popping in and the chirping is getting louder as I write this. I think the message now is that I promised my schedule that Sundays were for rest only.

 

2016 GSS Poetry Marathon

Source: 2016 GSS Poetry Marathon

On #NationalSelfieDay – I Wish

If you could take a ‘selfie’ of your inner self, would it be beautiful?

It is such a great feeling to be back on this blog. When I noticed that today was National Selfie Day, I smiled at the thought of everyone celebrating. In 2016 that’s pretty much a daily celebration, with some people being down right experts.  Me…I take horrible selfies so I’ll be sitting this one out.  My next thought was more introspective. What if the selfie picture showed your true “inside” self? Sounds like a modern day Twilight Zone episode. (If you don’t know what that is, you may be too young. 😊)

I believe that if selfies had a “true you” filter, taking them would be exceptionally rare. The filter would show doubts, fears, regrets, insecurities, pride, jealousy, hate, anger, loneliness and countless other hidden colors of that persons heart. Some would post pictures of compassion, patience, dreams, pain, and some level of disappointment. It would be great if cameras had an ‘internal selfie’ filter because it would open up an opportunity for personal reflection. 

My selfie today would show a “what if”. Not a strong as regret because I’m breathing and able to pick up the trail if I think that path is really worth the journey.  While I were in college I had to take a number of “arts” courses to fulfill my requirements. Everyone that journeyed the collegiate road had a few of those sessions of forced education. At the time I was deeply focused Accounting/Economics and Systems Information to finalize my career choice. I’ve always loved the Arts, but for this part of my life it was an interruption. I believe I took that stance because I had to take the classes. I filled my 2 years with one year of vocal, one semester of Jazz Piano, and a semester of Art Appreciation. I pushed through the classes with an outward resistance, but in the inside I really enjoyed digging deeper into my artistic side. I hadn’t tackled the piano since I was a child. I took to it again naturally and did far better than I should have considering that I never took reasonable time to practice. I remember my professor threatening to fail me if I didn’t ace the final. He was a local musician that also had National credits. Being born with a disability, he’d overcome huge obstacles to master his craft. Our final assignment was to compose an original jazz piece. I could see the absolute frustration on his face when I completed the piece with excellence on my last day. In hindsight, I’d give myself the same look of disappointment. What if I’d taken the time to actually practice?

The next what if I came from the vocal class. What I’ve completed my rendition of the classic song,  Summertime, our vocal Professor asked if I would be continuing into Ensemble. I had the nerve to somewhat smugly answer, no. In the first class I had completed the semester with a rendition of God Bless the Child. I channeled my inner Billie Holiday and had a lot of fun with it. I didn’t hate going into the second semester but I still feel that I had more important classes to take. So the answer that I gave her was not intended to be condescending but instead reflective of the fact that, in my mind, I had better things to do. She did ask me to think about it, complementing my smokey vocal tones and nice range. Fast forward to a day when someone that I really admire gave me their professional opinion about my ability to lead a small group of singers. It wasn’t the type of activities that required strong skill, just the ability to follow notes and coordinate vocal parts. I listen to his critique and had a “what if” reflection. What if I was more vocal about the fact that I had saying that ground on a Grammy award-winning album? What if I shared with him that I had years of experience by then singing in choir stand leading songs? What if I had followed the suggestion and moved on to Ensemble where I could have traveled and performed? What if I didn’t smugly push one talent to the side to prioritize the one that I assumed would make my life complete? I didn’t waste the semester of Art Appreciation as one that could be of benefit in the corporate world and higher end cultural circles. It’s the only the one that doesn’t cause me to wonder “what if”.

Those what-ifs have the threatening ability to become regrets. As I look at my selfie I need to determine if it’s just a passing thought or a dream to pursue. It’s not that I’ve ever had the aspirations to perform in front of an audience. But there is a place where just being able to reach standard of excellence for yourself matters. I do feel that I want that for this talent as well. Why let something so awesome go to waste when everyone didn’t get it. It doesn’t matter if it means anyone else’s standard. It just needs to meet my satisfaction.

Ultimately, the best selfie anyone can take is an inside reflection. It’s time today to look into your heart and mind see what’s inside that you need to make better for your life.

The better you live, the better you give.

Former President of Trader Joe’s Opens “Daily Table” Nonprofit Grocery Store

A decent meal is so vital to children for living, learning, and loving. More of these can make a difference in our collective strength as a stronger America.

BCNN1 WP

Daily Table founder Doug Rauch greets Latoya Rush after she walks into the store.
Jesse Costa/WBUR

Daily Table opened its doors Thursday with shelves full of surplus and aging food.

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Every child has the ability to succeed,

Every child has the ability to succeed, don’t let a Foster Child go unnoticed. Help us by donating. http://ow.ly/NFaC2

http://ow.ly/NNpLA

http://ow.ly/NNpLA

Don’t let your awareness end simply bec

Don’t let your awareness end simply because #FosterCareMonth is over. Many Foster Children still need your support. http://ow.ly/NFavg

The Greatest of These – #Love is #Happiness #WorthIt

“Until ‘you’ FULLY embrace who ‘you are’, no amount of money, no person or external things will EVER make you happy or bring you peace.”  ~ Yvonne Pierre, The Day My Soul Cried: A Memoir

What did you get yourself for Valentine’s Day? I hope it was something special. Maybe you got yourself something nice enough to share it with your family or that special person.

The important thing is that you woke up with you as your first love.

The second most important thing is understanding what true self love is about. In a world of selfies and looking out for number one, it is easy for people to mistake narcissistic behaviors such as these for self love. That’s not so say that putting yourself first or taking a selfie are always neurotic behaviors. The press of this thought is thought is that true self love is deeper. It goes drastically deeper than the shallow things that other people can see.

True self love seeks light, in spite of the appearance of darkness in your life. True self love is a firm and stable foundation to support your mission in life. You can’t reach your life destiny without a well lit path.  Loving yourself honestly creates the light of achievement.

There are wealthy, well dressed, famous, influential people that haven’t learned to love themselves. That reality is just not as obvious. We speak poorly of the young woman or man that disrespects themselves in their dress code, appearing look more like a prostitute or homeless person than a person that is due respect. We can see externally that they need to love themselves better. There are the obvious examples of people that use drugs, sex, or alcohol to numb their heart and mind so they won’t have to feel the hurt of not having their first love. There are even the people that have felt so much pain from abuse or not having an example of love that they have no idea how to love themselves. But just as sad are the people that were given cash and material goods in lieu of love. They spend their life walking in that dark definition of love and always knowing that they are missing something. They seek happiness in a lifestyle, the approval of others, or bullied respect. But when they find themselves alone, after the selfies and self promotion, they find emptiness.  They are often lonely in crowds and alone surrounded by people.

Self Love – The Greatest Love of All – gives you internal strength. It gives you joy whether or not you are having a good day. It is the single element that takes all of those motivational speeches and inspirational quotes to the next level of internalizing and achievement. Self Love doesn’t regard the physical appearance and looks as the greatest asset. Time will change the external, but internal love and strength is timeless.

When you love yourself, your greatest asset is self appreciation. You know that life itself is the greatest gift. So no matter if your family life was tremendous or a tragedy, the presence of life is the presence of hope. When you love yourself you understand that your existence matters. You are created with purpose and when you fulfill your purpose, you take your rightful place in the beauty of human achievement. When you love yourself, you look at everyone first with a heart of compassion. When you love yourself you can not be defined by anyone else. You take the strength of faith and hope to build yourself. You accomplish things.

If you find yourself in a cycle of disappoint, unhappiness, or unrest – maybe the thing that’s missing is love – TRULY LOVING – yourself. You are worth it.